Advanced Demonic Possession Prevention Techniques: A Guide to Not Losing Your Soul

Avoiding Certain Disaster, One Possession at a Time

Warning: Do Not Read This Section While Under Attack by a Malicious Entity

Step 1: Identify the Possession Symptoms

  1. Uncontrollable rage and aggression
  2. Unusual vocalizations (growling, hissing, etc.)
  3. Increased interest in heavy metal music
  4. Unexplained knowledge of ancient Sumerian mythology

Step 2: Seal the Portal

  1. Use a high-quality garlic spray
  2. Employ a team of highly trained exorcists
  3. Conduct a thorough smudging ceremony

Advanced Rituals for the Seriously Possessed

Tips for Communicating with Your Demonic Overlord